Pen and Pad

the pen and my pad my refuge from solipsism

when I’ve dwelled in my self-made prison for too long,

pen to the pad as I write another song

‘cause without it my life just feels wrong…

reminiscing on days I spent living from a bong

lighting cherries that buried my soul, losing control,

lying to myself,

I was the opposite of strong,

I thank God that those days are gone

I ain’t arrogant enough to think I can’t return

to the place where my fingertips burned

but I’ve learned

if I day at a time I stay focused on my rhymes,

meditate and pray when it’s time to clear my mind

I can find a bit of peace on this earth,

for what it’s worth

I’ve been walking this path since my birth,

since before I crawled;

since before I was born,

I heard my name called,

said I was needed to deflate the conceited –

that’s what I came for

yet I need to stay humble and grateful,

keep the poison from my lips because it’s distasteful

and above all else never be hateful,

‘cause my brother told me that there’s nothing below that,

a sapling from the tree of life,

I’m tryna grow that,

when I put my pen to the pad is how I show that,

and I need to be patient – I know that,

but it’s hard when what I’m seeing all around me is so wack,

sometimes the past beckons to me,

I can’t go back

I’m looking at future moments, wishing I could hold that

I know my presence lives in the present,

that’s where my power lies,

if I look too far ahead then I’m paralyzed,

living out my legacy while staring through this pair of eyes,

already seen the truth – I ain’t scared of lies,

most living like they’ll be here forever –

that’s where the error lies,

their dreams sautéing on the back burner until they’re caramelized

my pen and pad are the only things I’ve ever truly owned,

even this life that I call my own is on lease,

I put what I know in a poem and I release

everything I’ve been keeping inside, I set free,

on the path of a poet, the only thing left to be

is me,

sometimes the hardest thing to see

is that which is lovely

in a world that can be so ugly,

but if you look deep enough, you must agree

that if we

pay close enough attention to the signs, then they do appear

and guide us to the rivers of life – it’s all fluid there,

if there’s a destiny to fulfill, we must do it there,

put my pen to pad,

receive courage and march through the fear.